As much as I want to be someone who loves Christmas and looks forward to the holidays, I have to admit that this time of year is really just not my favorite. I'm not sure if it is due to high expectations, the impending disappointment when those expectations are not met, the cold weather, the difficulty of a family that has a hard time getting along or the financial burden of the holiday season but for the past few years I have found myself simply trying to survive the holidays rather than celebrating. I am not intentionally trying to be a Grinch with a heart that is two sizes too small but the magic of Christmas has completely disappeared. Is it wrong that I wish I could skip the holidays and instead spend a week laying on a warm, tropical beach? Am I the only one who feels this way? Is anyone else just absolutely exhausted by the songs, shopping, travel and parties?
While I was running last night, I was thinking a lot about my frustration with this season and trying to figure out why I couldn't shake my bad attitude. It is super annoying to realize that your behavior is stupid while feeling helpless to change it. I tried listening to Christmas music on the drive home in the hopes that something would click and I even detoured through a neighborhood filled with Christmas lights but I still felt absolutely jaded by the time I finally arrived home. As I was sorting through my mail, I came across a large envelope with an address that I didn't recognize right away. The package didn't appear to be a bill and as I opened it, I realized that it contained the magic of Christmas.
Knowing the struggles that Timmy goes through on a daily basis and the difficulties that he will have to endure in the future, makes me wonder how he is able to keep that precious smile on his face. (Check out this post for Timmy's story.) I swear, that kid teaches me something new every day and makes me want to be a better person. I haven't become Santa's favorite elf overnight and I am still dreading the drama that surrounds my family at Christmas time but I actually found myself humming Jingle Bells on my run this morning and I just might be wearing red and green today.
(Please consider taking a moment to visit my Children's Tumor Foundation Sponsorship Page and make a donation in Timmy's honor. I mean really, how can you resist that smile?!?)